


If you’re considering saying “I love you,” do a temperature check first. That means doing the mundane things-accomplishing responsibilities and goals, as well as experiencing difficult things together and seeing how the person responds. We all need to have fun, but a very good indicator of love is spending time “doing life,” says Robirosa. If a person is regularly demeaning and conflictual, you can expect the same to happen in your romantic relationship. “A huge indicator of how a person will treat you for years to come is to see how they treat their family and close friends, and also strangers,” she says. You don’t how how they treat others and their family.There are, however, some signs that it may be too soon to say I love you.Īnd it all boils down to not knowing each other well enough, says Robirosa. “The time that it takes to understand whether the feeling of love is real love or infatuation varies vastly on the amount of quality time spent as a couple and situations that may show through actions that love is being exercised.” Because of that, the right time is based on the evolution of the individual relationship. “There isn’t a particular amount of time to consider as the right time,” says Sofia Robirosa, a relationship therapist in Miami. The answer is, admittedly, relatively unsatisfying. While all great love stories are nuanced and should be allowed to unfold organically, we sought guidance from the experts to help you determine if the right time to say “I love you” first is now, later…or never.įirst thing’s first: How soon is too soon? So what do you do if thoughts of falling in love are fizzing wildly inside of you, dying to spill out, but you’re caught in the space of “Should I say I love you, or should I.not?” And you fear inciting a re-creation of the dreadful moment in Sex and the City when Carrie impulsively blurts out an awkward “I love you” after Big gifts her a crystalline duck-shaped handbag, and he then mumbles, “You’re welcome” in response-before fleeing the scene. And, once exchanged, it may feel as though you’ve been plucked from the realm of the casually intertwined and dropped into the arms of something official, lasting, and real. When you’re keen on someone, those words often ring as a rite of passage into deeper intimacy-a relationship milestone on high. The thought of hearing your romantic partner say “I love you” for the first time may send a rush of euphoria through your body.
